Most writers are not fortunate enough to be born into a family of writers. More often we are alone in our pursuit to create a masterpiece. My experiences are that few except actual serious writers understand our passion and obsession with writing. I find it fortunate when I discover and talk to serious writers. Belonging to groups is a very good method of this so long as the group is not just gathering to socialize. I have attended both the serious groups and the social gathering groups. Be careful that the social groups do not prevent you from writing rather than the purpose of helping your writing.
But groups, regardless, are not with you on a day to day basis. As you write, there will be interruptions, – always to the outsider, more important than your writing. Don’t become irritated or angry as it’s a simple case of ‘they don’t understand’. It’s you who must decide what is important. I still feel my family and children will supersede my writing when a problem arises. I however have ‘trained’ them to understand that my writing is important and shouldn’t be interrupted by something like ‘where is the toothpaste’ type problems. My husband believes my writing is a ‘hobby’ and has no problem with it. But just the concept ‘hobby’ does not denote understanding or taking it seriously. In turn, I must understand, he can’t understand and not be upset. But unless you are surrounded by other serious writers, I believe you won’t get the understanding that will alleviate your insecurity. You have to discover this yourself and ignore the would-be advice for what it is – lack of understanding (or even an inability to understand).
I have written four romance novels and managed to complete them with a hectic life around me. I had to discover my own methods. My latest novel is a more controversial novel of abuse and domestic violence. I feel confident I can write romance novels and can complete them. Now again insecurities invade as I try something new. I do not expect understanding from my family and friends. They will say it’s great regardless of whether it is or not. I will investigate other serious writers to gain ‘real insight’ into the story.
So when we writers suffer the insecurities, my suggestion is evaluate and make your own decisions on your own methods of dealing with insecurities. Don’t expect the help of others. When completed, seek professional advice. I have many friends who don’t read romance – all I ever hear are comments like ‘anyone can write a romance’ or ‘why don’t you write…’ if I dare deviate in conversations to something other than romance it gets much worse.
I have learned this is just the life of a writer. Don’t take it personally, Follow your heart.