To feel: – fear/darkness

I used to think I feared the dark.  Then I discovered I feared what was in the dark.  I used to play in the darkness (usually with siblings -but there was hide and seek when you were alone) and I wasn’t scared.  I walked in the dark and I wasn’t afraid.  We had wild animals as we were in a very isolated place, but they didn’t scare me either.  Then I moved to the city and I was afraid to go out at night.  I eventually realized I was afraid of what was in the dark in a city.  The signs were heart beating erratically, sweating (or perspiring – whatever your choice), and catching my breath – as though that would stop my stalker from finding me.  I still choose to not venture out at night alone in a city.

I also thought I feared heights.  But I can stand at the edge of a towering cliff and have no fear.  I eventually realized I am afraid to put my faith in man-made machines (airplanes or vehicles on high ledges).  I suppose I’m afraid of mechanical failure.  Again I feel clammy, my breath catches and my heart beats at alarming speeds.

I often climb this ledge to get down to the river about 1,000 feet below our street.  I find it easier to climb in my bare feet as I don’t slip and slide.

Climbing over a landslide covering the path

The street above where we live

To get the feeling of fear think about something that truly does scare you – and I really can’t believe there is anyone that doesn’t have fear – and write your symptoms down.

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