To feel: Jealousy/covet, control


Some people believe jealousy is a sign someone loves you. I actually fear jealousy. I feel it’s a sign of control or coveting..  I strongly believe that we are all individuals with the ability to think for ourselves.

If you want another person to do what you think they should, keep quiet.  If that is jealousy I have experienced it.  But I am more likely to feel sad and move on with my life.  If someone tries to force or convince me to do something I don’t want, I am more likely to get out of that person’s life as quickly as I can.

If you want to portray jealousy – just think of something you want and then combine anger because you can’t get it.  Then, if need be, your character can plot revenge or punish.  A jealous man in a historical might be more convincing as a man did or could control women in those days.  I am in favor of historical accuracy.

Jealousy as in coveting something that belongs to someone else is even worse.  If I am jealous of my neighbor having a new vehicle when I can’t afford one, I feel guilty.  It is a character facet I hope to never have.

So with that in mind, I wrote a romance – One Dance with a Stranger – with my hero being unable to feel jealous, even when he didn’t get what he wanted.  There was no convincing, making or forcing Emily to love him.  Then I had to convince readers he could love her just as much without getting jealous.

According to readers, I succeeded in giving them a tantalizing, enjoyable story.  It was just another challenge to be conquered.

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2 thoughts on “To feel: Jealousy/covet, control

  1. I think jealousy is natural first jolt reaction but turning that dark emotion into a more acceptable emotion – envy – is the key to better handling the situation and at the same time offering the challenge for change within oneself if it is deemed so.

  2. Every one of us is given the gift of life, and what a strange gift it is. If it is preserved jealously and selfishly, it impoverishes and saddens. But if it is spent for others, it enriches and beautifies.

    – Ignazio Silone
    So odd, I received this this morning on ‘Choose to be Unstoppable’

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